You cannot change people, so do you like who you are in this relationship?
Relationships can be so confusing. We can change who we are in love, we want to be the version of ourselves that our partner needs. When we change ourselves to make others happy, everyone is still, not happy.
We are not our most delightful self, it takes its toll on our souls to have to change or hide parts of ourselves in our significant relationships.
We become a different version of ourselves. If you are a different version, that is a problem, if you are more like yourself and a better version, that is healthy.
It doesn’t mean that the person is bad, it just means that the person may not be a match.
We talked about Stassi of Vanderpump Rules who changed drastically with her relationships. In prior seasons she was a stressed and classic not trusting, mean and selfish.
As she matured and entered into this last relationship she is with a guy who actually loves her and isn’t trying to change her, and you can just tell how happy she is. She is a better version of herself, confident and happy.
When we adapt and change ourselves for love with no safety, we feel pain.
You want to find someone who brings out the best in you and you bring out the best in them. You don’t want to spend years trying to figure out what is wrong all the time and hoping, wishing and waiting for this huge change that will make it all worth while.
This is the reality of what this person is like in relationship. You either accept it and find ways to be happy in other areas, or you move on. You can’t fix how you are when you are not in safety.
You won’t ever find a perfect relationship, but there should be ease and not a constant fight. How much of the relationship is hard and how much of the relationship is fun or good?
“You can’t fix a match that doesn’t work.”
Who are you in your relationship? Do you like who you are in this relationship?
Let us know in the comments 🙂