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Why is it so Hard to Change When You Have Had a Painful Past?

Pain makes you feel behind.

Most people don’t understand the effort and time behind reaching results and overcoming obstacles in their life. If you have had a painful past or have experienced trauma, sometimes this can make you feel behind and feel as though something has been taken from you.

It is not that you are a “crappy person” and aren’t happy for other people, it’s merely triggering the belief that you are behind and things get taken from you. 

Rewards should never prove your worth or reason for pain experienced in life. 

When you have experienced a painful past, there is a NEED for the meaning behind rewards and achievements you experience.

For example: Falling in love

Without a painful past – You are looking for a love that will compliment your personality and desires. This leads to finding healthy relationships.

With a painful past – You are looking for the love stories of all love stories to make yourself and everyone around you stand in awe and know that you have triumphed all pain. This leads to searching for relationships that are harder than they need to be or the acceptance of behavior that is lower in order for you to “change” them or be the exception to the rule.

This can lead to you feeling as though you have to prove to yourself that this reward makes the pain all worth it. If you are needing a result to makeup for something painful you have experienced, you are living in expectation and will never find happiness. 

Results will never change who you are. You change who you are first, then the results come forward. 

If you are focused on the results, you will find disappointment and feel let down by life. No result will save you from pain. Waiting on results and living in expectation will only lead to a life full of unhappiness.

No more waiting for the “when I haves” or “when I gets” and start opening up to the work required to heal and overcome the pain in a healthy and productive way. You have to do the work required to heal internally before the external results will bring you happiness. 

You can break the cycle, so long as you are willing to do the work required. You absolutely need to face the trauma and pain in order to get to the other side and experience happiness. 

Pain doesn’t define who you are or where you are going, but you do need to STOP, DROP, and HEAL if you want to overcome this in your life. 

 

“Pain grows you, suffering is optional.”

 

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Why is it so Hard to Change When You Have Had a Painful Past?

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